Hot-n-Ready: Revisit

Again... I show up for two hot n ready cheese pizzas... alas... I'm stuck here waiting for my Pizzas. It's been 10 minutes.

Fathers Day Free Food Coupons

Well, Quiznos is awesome this year! Dads and moms alike can eat Free! The coupons are detailed below.

Just print, clip and bring in! Enjoy!

-Joe the Foodie

Like a sir; I attended a wine tasting.

Okay, so last week I went to a fancy wine tasting, sipping on $80 bottles of the most disgusting grape flavored vinegar ever. Note; I don't like wine. Never have. Never will.

With that being said; I forced down 6 glasses of the stuff. I had to score it. Well; my scores were damned accurate compared to a professional wine tasters scored of the same wines.

And then it dawned on me... why can't I do this with Soda? Soda is a fast food in a sense. It's prebottled, carbonated at the factory and it comes in a variety of flavors.

My exquisite palate should be able to differentiate between a good Soda and a bad one. My favorite: Dr. Pepper and it's ghetto incarnations are easily distinguished between each other. I bet side-by-side I could pick out which one was the real Dr. Pepper and which one wasn't.

So; lets see if I'm able!

That will one of my upcoming challenges. Buy all the knockoffs of Dr. Pepper, Dr. Pepper itself, Diet Dr. Pepper and lets see if I can taste the difference between them.

See you next Friday when I indulge in the tastes of the Dr. Knockoffs.

-Joe the Pepper Foodie

Not So Fast Food: Little Caesar's Hot'n'Ready

Attention Small Julius; every time I seem to go in for your Hot'n'Ready pizzas, I wait in excess of 10-15 minutes. This isn't just an event at one location... not even a in the same city or state.

So here we go; I'm hungry. You claim to have Hot'n'Ready Pepperoni, Cheese and Crazy Bread. So I could just walk in and order, get my food and bounce. Seems easy enough.

Nope. Hasn't happened once. In several locations between the Seattle Metro area and Reno I might add. Now; I don't ever really go when I'd expect you to be busy like on a Friday, Saturday or Sunday... or April 20th for the Munchied out stoners. So; while I temporarily revoke your Fast Food status, I will hold out hopes that you can have these prefab pizzas next time I wish to indulge in quick, greasy, filling pies.

Sincerely yours,
-Joe the Impatient Foodie

Jack in the Box Snafu (Part 3)

In conclusion, I did receive a letter from corporate. It took a long while but I finally got it.

Well, there weren't as many free food items as I had hoped. Only two Value Meals.

Ordered a couple of the same combo. They were significantly better the first time around. No bones at least. A little gristle in the second burger but it was still good.

Stay tuned while I gather some more interesting articles. I think it's time for a spicy-chicken challenge from the major chains.

-Joe the Slightly Disappointed Foodie.

Dave's Back from the Dead!

Okay, Wendy's is getting pretty freaking good. Not only do they have a hot redheaded babe in their commercials now; they are totally getting it right when it comes to burgers.

No more thin pieces of grease meat now.

Check this sucker out:

That right there is Dave's 3/4lb Triple burger. And OH. MY. GOD! It's so amazing it rivals Five Guys, In-n-Out and sit-down gourmet burger places like TGIF, BJ's, Red Robin, etc...

Once again; no freaking tomato on this puppy (It comes with tomato). It didn't need the extra slop. This burger was juicy and drippy enough on it's own.

The burger doesn't look delicious to your standard consumerist from the image I took. But let me say this; any genuine foodie would look at this burger and salivate. Amazing.

Catch ya next time!

-Joe the Redhead Loving Foodie

Jack in the Box Snafu (Part 2)

Part 2 of the the Snafu at Jack.

So a couple days later I miss a phone call from an 855 number. I thought it was a telemarketer so I didn't answer. Turned out to be Jack in the Box Corporate Customer Relations.

Oh snap son! Corporate peeps callin' lil ol Foodie Blogger Joe?

This wouldn't be the first time; I can eerily get under their skin when I'm displeased with my food.

So; they left me a very careful voice mail wanting to urgently speak to me. They didn't leave specifics just in case I gave them bad info.

Well, I got busy that day and didn't call them back. Fortunately, they called me back a day later. I answered when I immediately recognized the number. Boop. Some very apologetic gentleman named (Alex I think he said) went over some things with me. I explained the situation and my order as well as what I found.

He was surprised to hear that I kept that bone fragment (I didn't get a picture of it like a dummy) and requested that I send it off to their labs for testing. I told him it could've been plastic just to set him on edge; but I knew it was bone.

"Well sir, we are going to send you a fedex overnighted package with a seal-able bag and return label so that you can send us the package. We are also going to send you a Corporate Apology letter as well as several free food vouchers for our value menu items. Is that acceptable?"

No, I wanted one million dollars. But I caved. "Yeah! Sounds great!"

------

The next day (yesterday) I ended up getting the package. Inside was a letter and a "seal-able" plastic baggie. I sealed away the bone fragment in a ziplog as I didn't trust the bag they sent me to keep the 2mm bone fragment from escaping, and then I securely put that baggie in the provided one.

Sealed it up and put the return label on. Fed ex picked the package up today.

So, here are the contents of the letter to show that this is legit and some fabricated thing: 

The Writing at the bottom is in fact just my Fed Ex Pick-up ticket number and pick-up time. This also has my return label receipt that I kept.

I brightened this in photoshop so you could read it better. I also blurred out my address because of creepy stalkers. While I trust anonymous to leave little ol' me alone; I love you guys and respect you guys enough that I know better. I may set up a P.O. Box soon so you can send me all the dirty pictures and threats of bodily harm at that time.

With that being said; I sent it off and am now awaiting the second part of the delivery promise, which would be that corporate apology letter and free food vouchers. Once I get those, I'll start on Jack in the Box Snafu (Part 3) at that time.

Let me know what you think of this experience so far in the comments! If I get more than 3 vouchers, I'll give one lucky US Viewer one of them. Thanks!

-Joe the Forensic Evidence Collector Foodie

Jack in the Box Snafu (Part 1)

Alright; I wasn't going to post this but I figured it was a juicy (crunchy) enough story to post.

One morning last weekend I decided to hit up my local Jack in the Box. It was 0900 but I was hankering for a burger. They're pretty much the only burger place near me that serves full menu all day.

Well; I get there and decide I might have some awesome quality luck if I acted like a "Secret Shopper" type person and did a carry out order. So I ordered my Bacon Ultimate with Onions and Extra Bacon, curly fries and a drink.

As soon as I finished paying, I went to put my wallet back in my pocket (And this is unrelated to the food, but it happened while I was in Jack) and my gun I was carrying fell out of my belt and down the back of my pants. It got stuck at the back of my knee and I quickly reached down and grabbed it so it wouldn't hit the floor. I scrambled off to the bathroom with my drink cup in my mouth and readjusted.

Several people dining in looked at me like I had just crapped my pants or something. Like a boss I quickly adjusted it and left the bathroom in less than 10 seconds like nothing happened.

So I stood there and watched as they made my food. I couldn't see the part where they put the fixings on it but stared none-the-less.

Eventually I got my food and headed out. Remembering to give my farewell to the manager on duty and saying her name. Very obvious fashion that some secret shoppers give themselves away with. Creepy to onlookers.

With that being said; I got home (About a 2 minute drive) and unwrap my burger. Well, the bun was overtoasted and stale. It crumbled to the touch. Meh, that's okay. I took my first bite of the burger. What's this?! Pickles? Who the heck ordered pickles? The pickles were dry too. Arid and flavorless. I quickly grabbed my receipt.

The chick who rung me up rung me up as "Add Onion, Ex Pickles". Well damn. I should've looked at the receipt. My loss.

I clear off the pickles and resume eating this oddly now dry burger that dripped with too much sauce. (Believe me, you had to be there.) Third bite in, OUCH! What in the world is this?

There was something hard that hurt my teeth when I bit it. "Oh hell no!" is what I ended up yelling as I excavated the partially chewed burger from my mouth. I mined and found the culprit. A 2mm bone fragment was in my burger. Hurt like all get out but I wasn't injured.

From my experience this is FDA acceptable that some bone make it into the hamburger and can be considered edible by humans. Okay. Well. I finished the burger like a tard, only finding small amounts of bone gristle that felt like sand in my teeth.

Eventually I got to eating the fries. Cold. Old. Expected for the AM crowd. No one orders fries at 9am. These were sitting there for an hour or so.

I had ordered Liz a Jacks Spicy Chicken sans tomato (Remember my last post about me not liking tomato, Liz is the same way sorta.) Her sandwich was cold like it was assembled on a morgue operating table.

Well; my handy-dandy receipt had a survey link and code on it. Sure enough I jumped on it and filled out the survey in my usual sarcastic, but pleasing matter-of-fact tone. Now came the waiting game as I'm sure my survey results got passed around to several Customer relations, Quality Control and Corporate people...

Stay tuned for part 2 of this story where I get a response from several Customer Relations People.

-Joe the Y u no have good quality today, Jack?! Foodie

In-n-Out review!

Terribly sorry for the lack of new info! I fell into a lengthy food coma after that gigantic 4x3 from In-n-Out Burger.

So; what I ended up getting what a 4x3 (Secret Menu Item) from In-n-Out without tomato. I'll let the record show that if it has tomato on the sandwich, I'll usually always order it without. Sometimes I get a hair up my butt and I'll want to om nom something with Tomato on it; but those are rare occasions and usually don't involve handled foods like sandwiches.

I also ordered Animal Fries (Another secret menu item) as you can see up top.

My fiance got the standard Double Double and regular fries.

Let me just say; holy crap. "Quality you can taste" is an understatement. It's fantastic! I finished my burger... which I can't believe I did. The cheese was melty. The bun was soft but toasted. The meat was cooked and wasn't horribly greasy but still drippy enough I opted for a napkin afterwards.

Even though I hit the food wall; I powered through it and the fries. And then some of my ladies fries as well.

To down it I had Dr. Pepper; my drink of choice. Liz got a medium drink. Side-by-side comparison below.

I haven't eaten at In-n-Out since; but it's been more a factor of me trying to lose weight... Or else I would have indeed returned twenty times since eating.

5.5/5 In-n-Out! You may have Five Guys beat. But we'll do a head-to-head if they ever get that Reno Five Guys opened soon.

-Joe the In-n-Out Zealot Foodie

In-N-Out: I'm here!

Finally I'm at the In-N-Out here in Reno! I will let you guys know how it goes soon!

<a href="http://www.hypersmash.com">www.hypersmash.com</a>

KFC, BK and Pot(pies)

Today I grabbed some KFC. I've finally conceded that KFC chicken strips have gotten much shorter and smaller.

This is so they can use the same ingredients to make the snackers. I won't fault them there.

Their Mac and cheese is still amazing. I could eat buckets of the stuff.

BKs Chefs Choice Burger is an honest attempt at bringing their hamburgers to par with sit down restaurants like Applebee's and Red Robin. The bun is pretty good but overly filling. The sauce they use is a nice compliment but leaves the burger much to be desired on customization. It is the chefs choice after all.

My final note; The Chicken Pot Pies from KFC are every bit as sleazy as that 70s commercial implies. The chicken used is old, stale and essentially recycled from chicken that would have gone discarded at the end of the day. Its garbage in a foil cup with some raunchy bread over top. DO NOT EAT.  Well. That's all folks!

-Joe the Foodie

Awkward Absence: RESOLVED!

Alright, alright. So I've been away for a bit; avoiding fast food for some time. Well; that's not entirely true. I've really been busy with my company; planning an interstate move and getting my head back together after slaving away at a Call Center job dealing with angry iPhone customers who finally realized what pieces of junk their devices were.

Well, now that that's out of the way, I have grand news!

First; I'm moving out of dreary, rainy Seattle and into a sunnier and drier climate. Once there; I will begin my first quest to the elusive In and Out Burger! Once there; I will grace this blog with my review of the 4x4; something I have been meaning to eat for some time. Will I be able to finish it? Who knows? I scarf down Monster Burgers from Hardees/Carl's Jr. well enough (because I'm tubby).

I have also taken to sampling mobile fast food joints, those popular lunch trucks in which many during their work day enjoy.

Also; with new video equipment I am able to bring to you LIVE my exploits in fast foodery. <---- Just added that to my dictionary. Learn it.

So; we will see what the next few weeks brings soon! Stay tuned!

-Joe the Migratory Foodie

Fast Food Apps!

Today and today alone there is a free Paid android app in the Amazon App store! It actually tells you the nutritional value of the fast food you've eaten! Pretty good for those restaurants not carrying their nutrition lists.